I got chris browned last night
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
