but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
