she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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