Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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