There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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