Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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