I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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