I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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