Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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