you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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