no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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