every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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