You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
