How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
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Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
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I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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