im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i came on her dog
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
