awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
