the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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