Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
