Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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