we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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