i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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