Do you still have your period?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
