She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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