just come out here and I will go home with you...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
