ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize