Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
