dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
