I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
