i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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