Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
