Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
