Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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