I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
