If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
