Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
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I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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