My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
These tits shall not be calmed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
