i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
