their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
