She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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