weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
