he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
