So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
