Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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