i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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