i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The adults are the big ones right?
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