Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
