i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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