Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
