tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize