and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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