went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
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