Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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