i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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