i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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