"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize