Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
