I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
