I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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