she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It was confusing and full of hummus
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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