Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
