he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Randomize