i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize