whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
