Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
